I've wanted to start swimming for a while now. The last time I swam with any consistency was during the first two weeks of my semester abroad. I'm currently using leg fins cause I suck at swimming, but I hope to get rid of 'em in a month of so. Oh right, I started swimming yesterday. I decided to buy my gear at REI. Bad call. I think the hardest part of this is a horrible, heavy feeling I'm left with throughout the day. That'd better go away too. My body weary.
On a separate note, I don't know what to do with myself during the weekends.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Get back to work
Tomorrow afternoon I leave for Redmond again. I really don't want to go. No, I mean I really don't want to go back. I can already feel the tension throughout my heartstrings.
I've been listening to "Big Country" by Bela Fleck and Flecktones. It's the theme song to this past week in the soundtrack of my life.
I've been listening to "Big Country" by Bela Fleck and Flecktones. It's the theme song to this past week in the soundtrack of my life.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Coming Home
I took this week off of work to come home and see my family and friends. I haven't lived in this house very much, but it's been long enough to have undergone significant life events.
Coming back to the exact same place with the exact same feel is about par for the course. The fact that home never changes is what makes it such a fantastic place to come back to. This is a thought that crosses my mind each time I come home, but last night a new one joined it. The people you grow up with never change either. They often surprise you with the their talent, dedication, or humanity, but they are fundamentally the same people you've always known. This is both endearing and frustrating depending on the moment. Earlier in the week I found the realization demoralizing, but last night it was my gateway to feeling like I was 18 again.
Almost everyone you talk to will tell you that college is one of the best times of your life. I had a mixed experience. I think it was a time of incredible personal growth, but it was littered with harrowing experiences. My life, in the all-encompassing sense of the word, in the dorms was incredibly different from my life thereafter. I was single again when I began my 3rd year. I was at the beginning of some family business that wouldn't find resolution for years, I was coming to the realization that I had lost my passion for everything, and I had developed a bad case of wanderlust. The world around me changed very quickly and boyhood/teenage Anand found himself unfit to go on. Up until that point desire had always yielded to reason, and curiosity kept everyday exciting. It's strange that "maturation" brought on poorer habits and the loss of perspective, but to the best of my recollection, this is how it went down.
Years later, this too has passed.
I guess this brings me to the point. Though we were just sitting around playing Wii, listening to music, and thumbing through photographs, last night was an eye openning look at all that's transpired since I met my friends. I was able to follow the story from beginning to end with a new perspective, while from moment to moment remembering who I was and how it felt to be me when I was 18. In the broad, over-arching sense, not much has really changed since then. Sure we've all grown up, gotten jobs, and done or achieved things we could've never predicted, but we're all more of less the same people. I like this. I really do.
Coming back to the exact same place with the exact same feel is about par for the course. The fact that home never changes is what makes it such a fantastic place to come back to. This is a thought that crosses my mind each time I come home, but last night a new one joined it. The people you grow up with never change either. They often surprise you with the their talent, dedication, or humanity, but they are fundamentally the same people you've always known. This is both endearing and frustrating depending on the moment. Earlier in the week I found the realization demoralizing, but last night it was my gateway to feeling like I was 18 again.
Almost everyone you talk to will tell you that college is one of the best times of your life. I had a mixed experience. I think it was a time of incredible personal growth, but it was littered with harrowing experiences. My life, in the all-encompassing sense of the word, in the dorms was incredibly different from my life thereafter. I was single again when I began my 3rd year. I was at the beginning of some family business that wouldn't find resolution for years, I was coming to the realization that I had lost my passion for everything, and I had developed a bad case of wanderlust. The world around me changed very quickly and boyhood/teenage Anand found himself unfit to go on. Up until that point desire had always yielded to reason, and curiosity kept everyday exciting. It's strange that "maturation" brought on poorer habits and the loss of perspective, but to the best of my recollection, this is how it went down.
Years later, this too has passed.
I guess this brings me to the point. Though we were just sitting around playing Wii, listening to music, and thumbing through photographs, last night was an eye openning look at all that's transpired since I met my friends. I was able to follow the story from beginning to end with a new perspective, while from moment to moment remembering who I was and how it felt to be me when I was 18. In the broad, over-arching sense, not much has really changed since then. Sure we've all grown up, gotten jobs, and done or achieved things we could've never predicted, but we're all more of less the same people. I like this. I really do.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
What I fear the most
After thinking about it for quite sometime, I have finally identified my greatest fear. I really worry about never feeling or thinking about things with the same intensity and passion I had when I was 19.
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